Here’s how to make your couple time safe and fun!
In his book, Eight Dates, psychologist John Gottman says that “the best way to cherish each other is to make relationship a priority. Give it time, give it attention, and be intentional about the life you’re creating with each other.” A great way to do that is to go on a “date” with your partner. However, this is not always easy to arrange, especially during a pandemic. Choices are limited, and safety precautions need to be considered.
The dictionary defines a date as “a time or appointment arranged beforehand, especially when a romantic relationship exists or may develop.” The date needs to be designed as something special that both partners commit to in advance. It may be an activity that you would normally do together informally, such as going on a walk or playing a game. What makes your couple time special is declaring the intention to have it be a “date” and keeping that focus during the entire time.
Adapting Your Date To COVID-19
There are several examples in our book Lifelong Love, as in Gottman’s book, of possible dates to try. During COVID-19, many of these will need to be adapted to meet current conditions and restrictions. For example, many restaurants may be closed or very limited especially as the weather gets colder, leading to less seating outside.
Most movie theaters are also closed. You may have more difficulty getting a sitter for your children. With the colder weather, it may be more difficult to engage in outdoor activities. You may need to lower your expectations for the kind of date you can have. So what can you do?
Here Are 14 Ideas For Creating Couple Time During COVID-19:
- Find a drive-in movie theater. Bring a snack and enjoy the privacy of being in your car together.
- Live-stream a concert, sit together and listen or get up and dance to the music. Coordinate your listening and dancing with another couple on Zoom.
- Plan a special dinner at home. Cook or bake a new dish together, then dress up and light some candles on the table as you enjoy your meal.
- Create social community events online with other couples. Community is an essential part of the Four C’s of Couple Power that we describe in Lifelong Love (Commitment, Cooperation, Communication, and Community). Especially during this time of more isolation during COVID-19, you need the added connection and support of a community of people.
- Set up a cocktail party online with several other couples around the country that you don’t get to see often.
- Create a game online that you can play with another couple or several other couples. Order a pizza and eat simultaneously.
- Create a time to give each other massages with special oils and lotions. Light some incense or candles to add to the atmosphere. Play romantic music.
- Set up someone you trust and is COVID-safe to take the children for a night and have the house to yourselves. Make love in different rooms, walk around naked, if you like!
- If the weather allows, and you have a baby sitter, go out together in a kayak or canoe. Bring a picnic lunch to eat along the way at a special spot.
- Find a special place to go on a hike together. Sit in a nice place and share some intimate thoughts with each other. You can do the same thing on a drive together.
- Make a date to work out together. Then reward each other with a nice healthy snack.
- Set up a nice time and place to meditate together, then share your thoughts.
- Find and use a mindfulness app (e.g. Calm or Smiling Mind) and use it together.
- Shop in a safe store or online for a gift that your couple would enjoy.
Whatever You Do On Your Date, Make It Fun!
You deserve a break today. Be creative and set aside the time at least once a week to have couple time together. Have a date night, afternoon, or morning date! Even during COVID, it is important to give that attention to your relationship. Nurture your partnership, and it will nurture you in return. Whatever you do, have fun with it!
We have been helping couples find ways to enrich relationships for decades. We are available to help you now. Call for a consultation at 434-971-4701. Check out our book Lifelong Love for more help and useful suggestions on how to create dates that work for you and your partner.